<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Dark Side of the Moon by TheDarkFlygon</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28757469">Dark Side of the Moon</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkFlygon/pseuds/TheDarkFlygon'>TheDarkFlygon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Caeca Fortuna (Bad Things Happen Bingo) [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Inazuma Eleven, Inazuma Eleven: Orion no Kokuin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blackmail, Canon Rewrite, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Secrets, Trans Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:32:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,844</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28757469</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkFlygon/pseuds/TheDarkFlygon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, you need to reveal your secret before someone else can do that for you, even if it stings to do so.<br/>(or: backed into a corner by a blackmailer and a cunning teammate, Ichihoshi is forced to come clean about something he'd have rather kept buried in old records)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ichihoshi Hikaru &amp; Nosaka Yuuma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Caeca Fortuna (Bad Things Happen Bingo) [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2097189</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Bad Things Happen Bingo</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dark Side of the Moon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <em>I'll take back what is rightfully mine to disclose.</em>
</p><p>Written for my Bad Things Happen Bingo card:<br/>https://thedarkflygon.tumblr.com/post/639403196939403264/here-is-your-card-for-bad-things-happen-bingo<br/>Prompt: Secret Revealed + Ichihoshi<br/>Warning for mentions of transphobia and one (1) insistence of deadnaming.</p><p>I thought this fic was going to be longer than that -- kinda sad I didn't reach 2K words, I like consistency in my inconsistency -- but hey, I said everything I had to, so you know what? I shouldn't be frustrated over arbitrary word counts. They're not that important anyway.<br/>As soon as I saw I had gotten "Secret Revealed", I knew I'd take the opportinity to write about a scenario I've had in mind ever since starting to work for my AreOri rewrite/personal canon about Ichihoshi. Of course, since this is for my very tailored-to-my-specific-needs AU, you'll find some odd details about it that aren't Orion canon at all because canon is but a canvas and I do whatever I want with it. Sorry not sorry.<br/>I'd be glad to clear up some thing if needed though!<br/>It's at least a little amusing that all my entries so far have been Gen, isn't it?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ichihoshi, can we have a talk?”</p><p>He likes neither Nosaka’s voice nor expression, both sombre and strangely unenthusiastic coming from someone he’s mostly seen fool around with him even as he was committing atrocities for the sake of a cause that was wrong all along; but he has no real choice as to his reply.</p><p>“Uh… Sure thing?”</p><p>This may be a mistake he’ll end up regretting later on.</p><p> </p><p>His room is the nearest to them and they’re sure they won’t be bothered there, so they quickly find themselves in there. Nosaka stays up as he locks the door behind them, arms crossed, and the atmosphere tenses even further than it was, tense enough that he slowly closes the door on purpose, trying to avoid Nosaka’s stare despite fully knowing he won’t be escaping the upcoming confrontation.</p><p>Hikaru has an idea in the back of his mind of why they could be here, that idea being the reason of why he’s so hesitant despite the fact he fully trusts Nosaka. He truly doesn’t believe the latter is here to expose his past crimes to whatever authority would (rightfully) throw him behind bars: the intent here can’t be a nefarious one, because if that was the case, Nosaka would have brought Nishikage with him rather than send him away to train with the other goalkeepers (an excuse so the others don’t suspect something is up – he knows Nosaka just enough to be aware of that trick).</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want to tell me about?” Hikaru nonetheless asks as if he didn’t worry about it.</p><p>His chest seizes as soon as he sees Nosaka put a hand in his pocket and retrieve something that looks too familiar not to exactly be what he’s feared it’d turn out to be.</p><p>“Would you know what this is about, Ichihoshi?”</p><p> </p><p>He hands him the pastel blue piece of paper, which Hikaru takes with trembling hands and dread flowing down his very being. To his chagrin, the words align themselves perfectly in surprisingly fluent Japanese and, for once, he’d wish they’d have sent something in Russian, as they usually do to remind him of what happened to him between the accident that took his sister away and the moment Inazuma Japan somehow forgave him.</p><p>He wouldn’t have lied about the entire situation that’s been going on, sure thing, but as he reads the characters, he can only wish he’d have been able to hide a little something that, frankly, only concerns him from someone as cunning as Nosaka. Clearly, what’s expected of him isn’t an explanation but a confirmation of a deduction based on that card.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Don’t forget our part in your journey.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Curse Orion and curse their underhanded techniques that also seem archaic – far from the video calls with that Bernard Girikanan impostor (whose face still shows up in his nightmares at time) and the cards he’s been sent, those he’s relentlessly tainted in water and thrown into various bins across the city.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Don’t forget you’re a freak of nature.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Curse Orion for pouring salt into wounds that should’ve been left to cauterize long ago.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing how he isn’t answering, Nosaka takes the reins of the conversation.</p><p>“For how long have they been blackmailing you like that?”</p><p>No point in lying. If there’s someone who can make the situation stops, it’s Nosaka; there’d be no point in going against him on such dealings. If he wanted to take him down, he’d have already done so anyway.</p><p>“I’d say since the match against Saudi Arabia. I think you know why.”</p><p>“That checks out. Why didn’t you tell us? It’s not like the team is against you.”</p><p>“Well… I think you guys are dealing with Orion enough as it is. I don’t want to endanger anyone any further than I’ve already done.”</p><p>“Oh really?”</p><p>Nosaka’s doubtful tone sends an electroshock down Hikaru’s spine.</p><p>“I’m saying the truth.”</p><p>And that’s no lie – he really doesn’t want the team to get attacked by his demon anymore.  </p><p>“I’m sure you are, but you’re also not telling me about something. What’d that be?”</p><p> </p><p>Hikaru feels his tongue go numb and his throat knot. The weight in his chest solidifies, almost strangling him from the lungs up, and there’s a bitter taste in his mouth – the awareness of knowing things will soon go down and rot away.</p><p>“You… know about it already, don’t you?”</p><p>“I’ve had my suspicions ever since hearing your “other self” say something about a sister, but truly, I do not wish to impede there. I don’t want to reveal your secret with my own hands.”</p><p><em>Secret</em>, huh.</p><p>“Did you tell anyone else about it?”</p><p>“I’ll admit I did discuss it a little with Nishikage, but you can entirely trust him never to leak this sort of information to the rest of the team.”</p><p>Hikaru can entirely believe that, considering how silent his other teammate usually is.</p><p>“I did my research on my own. Your sister and you were nicknamed something like the ‘Stardust Siblings’, right?”</p><p>“Y-yes, but actually…” He sighs. He’s <em>not</em> going to run away from this alive. “We were called the Stardust <em>Sisters</em>. Mitsuru and…” His throat locks into place. He can’t say it. It won’t come out of his mouth. “…me.”</p><p>Nosaka offers him a smirk.</p><p>“Your sister is still alive, right?”</p><p> </p><p>The sudden change of topics relaxes his throat, allowing him to breathe again.</p><p>“Yes, or at least, I think so. She must have joined Orion’s ranks after the accident. I can’t remember if I was the one who had to be operated or her, but all I know is that she joined Orion either because I needed major and expansive surgeries or because she was saved with their funds and had to work for them as payment. I’ve been searching for her, but in the end, Orion got to me too, manipulated me and turned my own dysphoria against me.”</p><p>“<em>Dysphoria</em>?”</p><p>He could’ve said “trauma” and that’d have been true too, but Hikaru is more than conscious enough of the conversation’s flow and goals to know he shouldn’t dance around the topic like he has for so long.</p><p>“I… started to impersonate Mitsuru in public to lessen my discomfort. The thing is, Orion knew about it because they knew about Mitsuru, and I had to confess to being her sibling – her sister, to be exact. They guessed what my deal was before I even knew the term for it, so they managed to use it against me too: they allowed me to be “Mitsuru” if I wanted, if it made me feel better to be referred to as her. I thought being like her would make me as strong as she was in my eyes.”</p><p>“What I’m getting from this is that you eventually became the mask, am I wrong?”</p><p>“It honestly depended on my mental state. On days I was really dysphoric, I’d become Mitsuru and try to forget about it. It’s Froy who first made me break out of the shell and caused me to truly think about it and realize what I was.”</p><p> </p><p>Hikaru takes a deep breath, the weight of his words grinding against his ribcage, threatening to seize his lungs.</p><p>“I’m born Ichihoshi Hiyoko.”</p><p>“…and, until now, only Mitsuru and the Orion Foundation would’ve known that.” Nosaka finishes a sentence he didn’t even know he had started. “Is that right?”</p><p>“Y-yes.” Despite coming clean about such a thing, he doesn’t feel any easier. “That’s what Orion has been holding over my head for the past weeks.” He lowers his head, looking to the side. “I’m sorry for keeping that secret from everyone else.”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“It’s an understandable decision, really.”</p><p> </p><p>Hikaru rises his eyes from the ground.</p><p>“I can’t say I’ve ever been in your place, but I’m certain the team wouldn’t hold such a thing against you. You must be terrified of potential rejection, yet I’m sure the others would benefit from hearing about it. You’d certainly feel lighter about not having to hide this from everyone else, right?”</p><p>“But what if…”</p><p>What if <em>what</em>? if they think he’s mistaken? (The question doesn’t exit his mouth).</p><p>“You’ll end up getting busted at some point, Ichihoshi, like I managed to do. That message was only the confirmation I needed for all the pieces to fit together. If I can avoid you getting found out before you can say it yourself, I’d rather have you take back your own power over the situation.”</p><p>Nosaka puts a hand on his shoulder and gives him a smile.</p><p>“If anyone disrespects you or decides to go against you for this, I’ll make sure they never do so again.”</p><p>The message is clear…</p><p> </p><p>“Moreover,” Nosaka continues, “telling the team about it would clear out a misunderstanding that’s just been waiting to happen.”</p><p>“What’d that misunderstanding be?”</p><p>“Back when you were hiding as Ichihoshi Mitsuru, you were changing in a different locker to ours, but ever since revealing your true identity, you’ve rightfully switched to changing in the men’s changing room.” A smile. “I’m pretty sure Umihara and Zaizen would appreciate the clarification.”</p><p>Hikaru can feel his face catch on fire. He really didn’t think about it until now…</p><p>“A-ah, right, yeah… That’d…”</p><p>“It’d be easy to clear up. Better lift the confusion before it can do any damage, don’t you think?”</p><p>“Oh, obviously, I’ll… make it as soon as I can.”</p><p> </p><p>Nosaka takes back his more serious demeanour next, making him think there’s still something he wants to talk about – is it about Mitsuru? Is it about his alignment in the conflict? If he may betray Inazuma Japan if it means saving his sister? Come to think of it, he doesn’t know what he’d do if her life was in danger – his, he doesn’t really care, but <em>hers</em>? It’s a whole other story. He sacrificed even his own integrity for her sake, but now, he doesn’t feel like he could ever go against his team either, and… and…</p><p>“Do you feel ready to do it yet?”</p><p> </p><p>The slow, concerned tone of Nosaka’s voice snaps him back to reality, realizing there’s only worry in his (secondary) captain’s eyes.</p><p>“I understand having your secret revealed is something to fear – I’ve been there already, believe me.”</p><p>“Honestly? I’ll never be ready. I’ve dreamt for so long of not having to disclose this part of myself, of being able to close the wound by telling Mitsuru about it to close the page… that I don’t think I can ever be ready to go back on that and tear the band-aid away again.” He stops to regain his breath. “But you’re right. The longer I let doubt install itself, the worse it’ll get. And, if it means finally being able not to hide anything… then I’ll do it. I’ll tell everyone myself before anyone else gets the chance to.”</p><p>“Good thinking there, Ichihoshi. Just think it over, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Hikaru nods along.</p><p>“Now, I believe we should be heading to where the others are. They’re most likely wondering where we’ve been.”</p><p>“Oh, sure thing!”</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>